I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
ttyl tear gas
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
