my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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