i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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