Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Last time i carry you out of a forest
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
