Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
