READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i will never coherently bang her
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
