I'm going to jail i love you
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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