I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
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