I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
