Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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