True but thats because hes a fetus.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
