Your tits are I can't wait for
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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