Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Come see our sink grown plant.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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