You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
