I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
