So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
