What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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