Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
I want to have your abortion
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Randomize
