I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
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