I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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