I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
