Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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