yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
