Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
