No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
40s are totally the cure
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
