He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
