i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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