I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize