found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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