Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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