your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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