He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
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I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
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Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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