I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
