i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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