u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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