Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Randomize