One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
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And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
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We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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