Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Randomize
