it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
