It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
