You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants