I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
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So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
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He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution