This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize