these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life