And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since