There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name