I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.