I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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