I wish I could teleport
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
