Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
