My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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