and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
