Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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