look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
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Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
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its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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