well I can't set my house on fire every night
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
