I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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