How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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