brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
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She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
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Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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