What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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