So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
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