If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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