idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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