I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
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