happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize