Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
oh god the rape fog is back!
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
we're so committed to being not committed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
