And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
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do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
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If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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