I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
