How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at about main and main street
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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