Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
