Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize