I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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