Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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