K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
