big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
