How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
