I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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