i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
