I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
